Twas' 11 Days Before Christmas

         You may or may not have read this, but It warmed my heart at the thought of those children spending Christmas celebrating in the grandest place of all with true love, peace, and joy... What a party they will have! 

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
When 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim, as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Random thoughts about Christmas...

       I love the Christmas/Winter season! The lights, trees, cards, love, giving, spending time with family, and of course praising God for his son.
      Most would agree that Christmas has materialized into "I wants" and the newest technology. Well I would agree, but there has to be a happy medium out there.  I mean I would like to show my children how to give and receive graciously. I want them to make a list for Santa, enjoy the spirit of elf's and the magical world of the north pole. I also want him to understand the true meaning of Christmas, and why we celebrate Jesus Birth. Can I really have both? I grew up doing all these things, but in today's world can I raise my children to understand both sides of the spectrum? Without destroying that magical belief that there is a Santa, and the pure innocence of nativity?
    As a new mom I am feeling a little pressure to start traditions with our family. Ones that can carry though the years, and ones that my children will enjoy many years from now. I love the elf on the shelf idea, but really what does a bad elf teach children? No offense I know several of you are doing it, but I just don't think its for me. We used to do "operation shoe box" growing up, but I feel the need to do more physical giving of my time and energy. I also know my husband won't get into a tradition until Hunter is older and able to understand what we are doing... which is reasonable. I am feeling the need and want to start something now, and I guess I just don't know where to start.
          I know this post is random, but its what my brain is stuck on... Any suggestions?

Here is our tree this year!

     In years past Ive had a themed tree and really enjoyed it but never felt a connection or love for it. After visiting Corinne this past weekend, and loved looking at all her different ornaments from her childhood, and others she has collected over the years. I decided to go back to our roots and dig out ornaments from our childhood (well I can't find mine, but Taylor's anyway). I even got rid of our fancy angel on top (Taylor didn't like her anyway) and made this star! Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Around our house:)

Hunter's Birthday Party

      As you know we had Hunter's birthday party a couple weeks ago. We invited about 50 of our closet friends and family. I know you think 50?.... we have a big family and lots of close friends. Neither of which I would give up for the world. It was crazy, hectic, loud, and wonderful all at the same time. Yes it's a lot for a 1 year old to take it, but he did fabulous! In this instance pictures speak louder then words.

 

 

 

This picture pretty much sums up the amount of help we had opening gifts!

I recruited my Best Friend to take these pictures. I highly recommend doing this, because I am pretty sure I didn't pick up my camera the entire evening (oh wait I even forgot it at home). I am so grateful she did this for us. I know she became a bit overwhelmed throughout the party, with the amount of children "Helping", but she did a fabulous job capturing memories!

One more picture to leave you with...Ok so 2 more!

   I just can't get enough of his cuteness!!

Dear Hunter,

        The following is a letter I wrote to Hunter for his birthday. Yes its mushy and full of love, but its how I feel. I posted it here, because I have a fear of loosing all things sentimental. Also a recurring worry that I will won't remember how he has made me feel over the past year.




Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Boy!
      You first year of life has been an amazing one! You have defeated the odds of a preemie, concurred reflux, and you stayed strong though multiple ear and sinus infections including getting tubes put in your ears. All while learning to live laugh and love life to its fullest! You are a true testament of God’s love and patients. Each day I love watching as you grow, learn new things and change in to a toddler.
     You my dear: are full of smiles, laughter, silliness, and love! No moment over the past year has stuck out as my favorite, because each second spent with you is a blessing (even though it may be in disguise). At this point in time you love being around people! You light up a room as soon as we walk in. You think everything is funny, and enjoy to be tickled. You love to give hugs to Mom, Dad, and Grandma Karen. You enjoy reading books to mom at night, and playing with as many toys as you can get your hands on! The best toys aren't even toys at all (i.e.: mom's work name tag). 
    At your 1 year checkup you weighed 21 lbs. and 30 inches tall. On Thanksgiving you got your 8th tooth. You have started pulling up on things, and becoming very interactive with everyone you see. You wave and say Hi and Bye like crazy (usually both hands)! It melts my heart to see you wave, and lean into kiss me or dad. I haven't found something you don't like to eat, in fact everything food or not goes into your mouth. You would really like to walk, if only you could slow down and learn to you would be set. 
    I think most of all, your favorite place to be is outside and if a truck or a tractor is around you go nuts trying to get it! There is a peace that comes across you face when we step outside, it’s like a freedom you can feel. You love to watch the dogs, kitties, and birds (while also enjoying chasing all three). You are content playing in the glass, dirt, and leaves. Everything growls including: cars, animals, tractors, people, and all toys. You love sharing things and giving to others especially Rylee. You two play so good together and love each other so much.
   My prayer for you sweet boy; is that you continue to love life, grow up to be a strong, caring, & kind young man, and treat others with the same respect and love you have shown us over the past year. Daddy and I are so thankful to have you in our life, and couldn't imagine it without you.

Love, 
Mom

Birth Story after PPROM

      So before I post about Hunter turning the big 1! I wanted to give a little insight to his birth story. I've been working on it for a year now, and still doesn't have all the details. but here it is... sorry its so long! I am also posting the entire story, hoping that our story can bring hope to someone one in the same situation.

          On September 30^th (27 weeks) I woke up thinking I had wet the bed, and tried to go back to sleep almost knowing the back of my head something was wrong. That morning I noticed some spotting and knew I needed to see my OB.  I work at an OB/GYN office so I went to see her when I got to work. She did a quick ultrasound and confirmed my water had broken and the baby had no measurable fluid. I was immediately admitted and put on magnesium for 12 hours (which made me feel terrible). Also got 2 doses of steroid in 24 hours to help the baby’s lung develop and little faster. Thankfully I wasn’t having any contractions, cramping, or bleeding.  We were really scared but baby was doing great! The doctors said the first 24 hours were critical, they said if I was going to go into labor it would happen then. If not I would be in the hospital on strict bed rest until I was 34 weeks.  While we waited the NICU team came and talked to us about what would happen if I did deliver then, and what the baby would look like. This helped prepare us for the worse.

I made it the 24 hours than a week then 6 more weeks without infection or delivery.  I read everything in reach about PPROM (Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes), what to do on bed rest, and how to keep infection away.  All I wanted was to read a success story like mine to give me hope. I knew God had a plan for us, and knew we just needed to trust in him and know his plan was far better than we could imagine. The 7 week hospital stay seemed like it would never end, especially weekends went by the slowest. My husband stayed with me 5 nights a week and my mom the other 2, I was too scared to be left alone at night for fear I would go into labor and they would be 30 min away. The doctors referred the hospital bed rest as worse than jail, because at least in jail you got to go outside and play.  My husband and I spent our first anniversary eating Lonestar takeout salads and cake our parents brought us. Our anniversary was also the first time in 3 weeks I got to go outside, it was a beautiful fall day (you forget how good fresh air smells and feels)!

Twice a day I had an NST (non stress test) this looks at the baby’s heart rate amount of accelerations and decelerations in 20 min. Once a week we went for an ultrasound BPP (biophysical profile) this looked at the baby’s lung development, growth, and fluid level. Each week our fluid level increased at one point I had 10.3 cm, the lowest we had was 3 cm. I drank water until I felt like I could float, and really stayed in bed except to shower and use the bathroom. I still leaked fluid continuously and had several gushes a week. We set small goals just to get to the next week, even though our end goal was 34 weeks, I just wanted to get past 30 then 32! Our induction date was finally set for November 17^th (34 weeks), this gave me an end point and allowed us to get excited. We knew we were having a boy, but had kept the name a secret.

On Thursday November 17^th after 50 days on bed rest I was induced with pitocin at 8:00am. I started labor at 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, and told that it could be a long process and even take days! I immediately started contracting, I really wanted to walk around but couldn’t really due to the IVs. Labor went pretty slow at 4:00pm I was 4 cm and 80%, the pain was starting to get intense. My goal was to have a natural delivery without pain medication, and I still think I could have if I hadn’t started throwing up, then I could never catch my breath. I did receive an epidural at 6:30pm when I hadn’t progressed any and was not getting enough oxygen (the baby’s heart rate was dropping during contractions). At 9:30 I started feeling a lot of pressure, and was getting really uncomfortable. The nurse came and checked me hoping I had progressed but nothing! So we wait. At 10:20pm my doctor came by to check on me in between a couple c sections and I told her how I was feeling, so she checked me. I was fully dilated and the baby was crowning.  They called the NICU team, and requested them to get there STAT. My doctor actually held the baby’s head in until the NICU team got there.  As soon as they walked through the door at 10:26pm without pushing Hunter Dean was born weighing 5 lbs 1 oz  18 ½ inches long and crying. Taylor did get to cut the umbilical cord, I didn’t get to hold him but the doctor held him up so I could see his face. Taylor was able to go straight to the NICU with Hunter and kept sending me pictures on our phones of him and letting me know how he was. The worst part of everything was not being able to go see Hunter because I had to let the epidural wear off before I went anywhere.   It was hard with everyone else getting to see him when I had to wait, even though I got to hear how he was doing and who he looked like. I finally got to see him at 4:30am, and even got to be the first one to hold him. It was so hard with all the wires and looking at his face he looked so peaceful but almost scared. He was still on the ventilator and not liking it one bit.  Later that day was much better only the cpap and an IV. Throughout the next day we went back and forth from the NICU trying to be with him every chance we got. While the nurses seemed optimistic about him coming home that week, the doctors on the other hand were not they would say “we hope to have him home by his due date”. This made me crazy… 6 weeks from now! I don’t think so!

I was released to go home on the 19^th (Saturday morning). It was so bittersweet… after  52 days in the hospital  I didn’t  remember what home looked like much less what is felt like. It was so hard to leave Hunter but knew it wasn’t for long. We stopped by to see him a last time before we left and to get the latest update on how he was doing. He was progressing right on track and hoped to be off oxygen by Sunday night, and starting his tube feedings increasing 3cc every 3 hours up to 41cc (the goal to go home).

A few hours after Hunter was born

5 days old...first time wearing cloths

 

Hunter’s NICU Story

11/17/11 Thursday, Hunter was born at 10:26pm weighing 5lbs 1 oz., went straight to the NICO to be put on the ventilator. Fortunately he was only on the vent for 8 hours. I got to hold him for the first time at 4:30am (11/18)

11/18 Friday, Only has the cannula set on level 2. No infection and has stopped preventative antibiotics.  Gained 1oz. now 5.2lbs. Taylor got to change his diaper for the first time. At midnight I got to hold him for an hour and he did awesome!

11/20 Saturday, I came home. Hunter looked great when we left the hospital, and getting 6ml of BM every 3 hours. This will increase by 3ml every 3^rd feeding up to the goal of 48ml every 3 hours to come home.

11/21 Sunday, Cannula is now set a level 1, and doing great. Even pulling the cannula out and sucking on the pacifier really well. Dr. did pick up a heart murmur, but not concerned at all as most preemies have this. He weighs 4.13 after a “big poop”. Eating 21 ml every 3 hours though tube. He has held his body temp for 24 hours now so will move to an open crib soon. Billi level is a little low, so they have him under the lights as a precaution. I think he likes it, he looks so relaxed and happy. He will come off the IV fluid tonight, since he is getting enough BM.

11/22 Monday, Hunter is progressing great! Got to feed him his first bottle this morning, and he ate it all! No oxygen or IVs are needed now. Only has a feeding tube for when he’s too tired to eat.

11/23 Tuesday, Today he has eaten every other feeding from a bottle and doing great, but the want to give him 1 more day at every other, because they think it wearing him out. Everything else is great, gaining weight like he should.

11/24 Wednesday, I spent all day with him from 9-4. I got to breastfeed him for the first time, and he did great. Later I fed him a bottle and got some of his DC paperwork done, so we are ready when he is ready to go home.

11/25 Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving! And happy 1 week! We stopped by for a short visit before we left town for the holiday. Taylor held him the entire time, and read him a thanksgiving story. He is eating every bottle at a little over 2 oz. We will stay the night tomorrow, and bring him home Saturday.

11/26 Friday, Hunter had his circumcision done this morning. We got there late afternoon, and were taken to a room on the peds floor for the night. It seemed like the longest night of my life! Hunter and I didn’t sleep at all. The bed so horrible uncomfortable, and Taylor had to sleep in a tiny chair.

Finally going home!

11/27 Saturday, After 9 days Hunter gets to come home!! During the long discharge process Taylor went to Wal-Mart to get some last min things. Finally around 11ish we are set to go. It’s was rainy cold day, and I have my 1^st baby shower when we got home. So I will also be leaving Hunter at home on his first day home! Taylor of course did great, and can’t wait to watch Hunter grow and enjoy him. The best is yet to come

             If anyone is reading this, looking for hope and has questions please contact me! I've been down that road, when all you want to hear is a "happily ever after" story.

 I am forever grateful for the friends and family that prayed with us, and for us during this time! And most of all for Gods unending love for us. He truly blessed us with a true miracle!

2 Years and Counting...

     Yesterday was our 2 Year Wedding Anniversary! Wow 2 years, although some would say it feels like yesterday, sometimes I feel it was more then 2 years ago. So many things have happened in the past 2 years: several vacations, job switches, a masters degree, pregnancy, bed rest, and A BABY! All of which bringing a new adjustment period. I see that we have done much of that with a smile on our face and a good outlook. Our trick is supporting each other in every decision, even when one of us gets the bad deal end of the deal. 
     Taylor is a very kind and caring husband, and also the best father a little boy could have. He tries very hard to put Hunter and I first in life, and is always making me feel loved and very special. Although he was out of town yesterday, so we couldn't celebrate together. He knew the way to my heart and to make me feel like he was here all day.
     Mid morning I received this beautiful bouquet of flowers: Which has made my office smell amazing!

     And Mid Afternoon I received a dozen cookies from "Hot Box", and.... SHAKESPEAR'S PIZZA!! Our favorite pepperoni, black olives, mushrooms, artichokes, extra cheese, on whole wheat crust!! I was beaming with excitement. He knows the way to my heart is really though my stomach:) And although I didn't get a pictures... anyone from mid-Missouri can imagine my delight! 

   Over all the day was great... yes I had to work and yes Taylor was away, but I had the most handsome dinner date to eat my yummy pizza with.

 Waving to Daddy!

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart! Here's to many many more!

11 months!

    Can you believe it??? I can't! Hunter is getting so big, and starting to learn more and more each day. He is amazing, and I look at him in awe each day. 
He is happy all the time (except when hungry), strong willed, loving, soft hearted, and the most wonderful blessing on earth. 
                                                                     

Reading his favorite book...Yes upside down (hes talented like that)

 

Happy FALL!!!!

    













 Its been so long since I have posted I have a lot to catch up on. He is army crawling like a pro & can pull up on low things. He loves to look at books, talk, and make others laugh. He gives the best hugs and kisses when "he wants to". Eats everything is sight including all bugs, grass, dirt, and leafs! Still hates the car seat especially when tired or hungry! I miss him every second of everyday, and when I put him to sleep at night I feel guilty not holding him longer:( With only a few hours a day I get to see him (including in the car), I just love giving him my undivided attention for what time we get. He loves being outside, watching the animals, trees, and of course riding in the combine and gator. Right now his favorite person is my mom... he will reach for her and just grin when he sees her, and I am sure the feelings are mutual. I could go on and on (which I have) about how wonderful Hunter really is, but pictures speak a thousand words...               

Got tubes put in his ears...before the procedure with Papa

               

Hunter loves it when Daddy's home

What? No combine ride today?

Hunter trying to convince us he needs a combine ride!

1st Band Day!!

1st Pumpkin Fest with Blakley!

Before the rain while they were both HAPPY!

Gator Ride!

 This time last year, I was in the hospital on bed rest... Sure does bring back a lot of memories. We are so thankful for our healthy and happy little boy. And I am loving being able to enjoy this beautiful fall weather and colors from the outside this year.